All she needed was a little fucking push and we’d be lying here post multi-fucking-orgasm but instead I fucking bottled it and now she’s curled up in my arms, fast asleep. I couldn’t do it for fear of fucking it up. Plus she’d been drinking. Wouldn’t have been fair. It’s not like she can handle her fucking alcohol.
She likes me even though I’m a fuck up. What woman has ever wanted to hear about my life, my fucking parents, cared about me besides Nana. And then I had to wang on about fucking coconut hair conditioner. Fuck me. Not cool Matthews, not fucking cool. No woman needs a man who spends more on products than she does. Ellie is low maintenance. Fuck, I’ve never been with anyone low maintenance before.
She’s a magnet for fucking trouble though. Yeah duh Matthews she found you. Those fucking animals could’ve hurt her yesterday. James deserves something. Money? I’ll ask Nana. She can advise me on something thoughtful. Could ask Ellie though. Have a feeling she’d have a good idea.
Awww look, she’s fucking smiling in her sleep. So cute. It’s so hard – fuck me I am hard; shit better not press my cock against her, don’t want to freak her out – not to kiss her. Those lips of hers are fucking killing me. ‘Specially when she cries and her bottom lip fucking wobbles. Last night I had to fight leaning in and fucking biting it. And those eyes of hers. All glassy and fucking huge. Tears running down her face. I could’ve licked them off. Is that fucking gross? Kinky? Fuck. She’s messing with my head.
Despite all the fucking aggro I’ve put her through she’s still here. The only other person besides Nana is Grant. Can’t get a fucking handle with what’s going on with him. Fucking gay my arse! I can tell he likes Ellie though. So why put himself out of the fucking picture? Has to be fucking up to something. He treats her like a princess. Fuck, I treat her like a princess. She deserves to be. I like her, no fucking strike that, I think I fucking love her. Fuck, I am officially fucked.